just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
