His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
