Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
