I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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