JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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