As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
