remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think people are normalizing furries
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
