A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
