i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
