All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
MIDGETS
????
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize