U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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