I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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