Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
