Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish you could order shots online.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
