Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
