the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
