Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
