I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize