Your tits are I can't wait for
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
