Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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