If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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