were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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