dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
