Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
