I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
