its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
