I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The struggles of a small town man whore
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
