omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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