So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
