My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
