I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
