We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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