He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
