I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I didn't notice because vodka
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Drake has all the answers
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
