i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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