Already got asked if we're dating
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
