I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
