I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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