Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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