sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
