you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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