worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
