You just made me feel so damn special
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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