Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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