I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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