no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
