Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
