Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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