we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
