remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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