Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
