capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
